When Fear Attacks

Today I felt the first sign of fear in my mind as we continue to dodge HIV medication. It's been 15 days since I began cutting in half the half-dosis I was taken and although nothing has changed on the outside, as it normally happens, I began to notice the weakness of my mind.
Since last Tuesday July 25, 2017 when I met my Ex for lunch that turned into drinks, then spliff, then kiss, I've been having tabaco at home. You may say 'oh com'on, tabaco?' But it's true, my mind and my body have an extremely powerful way to show me what the hell its going on inside myself, right or wrong.

The truth is this, once I begin to stand alone with my health and separate myself from the doctors and medication, I become very strict with my habits and processes, my mind sharpens and my ego battles for survival.

Whatever I know it's wrong or not beneficial to my body, regardless of how much my mind wants it, becomes a thousand times more harmful than it would normally be in other situations, like while taking medication.

Anyway, I've been smoking, 2,3,4 cigarettes a day. Rolled, no filter. Nothing significant, but I know I don't need it and it's harmful. Yesterday, after I smoked one at night began to feel how my throat was drying up, and a powerful sense of guilt began to build up.
This morning, I felt pain in muy throat, and immediately my mind began to fear the worse.
"Is my immune system weak? What am I doing thinking I can stop medication? Why am I doing this? Why can't I just be normal? Have s normal life with job, friends, fun… Does my body feel week? Am I doing the right thing, and for the right reasons? Am I worth receiving the blessing of health? Why I feel unworthy and arrogant? … Please, Father, guide me.
And so I begin to scan my whole body, spirit and mind.

This morning, in meditation, asked if I was doing anything wrong. The answer was, NO – But I know I must stop all smoke coming into my lungs at once! For the simple reason that energetically is totally opposite to what I intend to achieve. Inhaling CO2 is wrong, that's what my body exhales. I must breathe deep, do yoga and sing.
Then I asked if everything was alright. Intending to ask if everything was pointing the right direction. The answer was, YES.
In general, I felt connected and my ego was humble.
This episode of fear has reminded me of the need to be humble and respectful to my body.

And so, I ask myself at all different levels and dimensions to be kind and wise. To know when enough is enough, when much is too much and little is too little. To have the ability to discern what's best for us (body, mind and soul) and to listen the guidance from above.

And so it is.
Thank you,

Cristos Andronicos

FACTS:
1. I've been coughing and feeling a dry throat since last night.
2. Spit very little phlegm, whitish in colour.
3. I've been training really hard at the gym.
4. My whole body aches.
5. Haven't had much rest.
6. Been thinking a lot about how to be/do the best I can. Using my talent and my abilities. Apply to TheGym for a PT position, find ways to learn, serve, etc better.
7. Sometimes I feel I'm obsessing with my body and physic. I want to cut body fat in half but worry that sometimes I might under eat and then have days of binge eating.
8. Still, sometimes fear I'm not good enough ūüė¶
9. Sometimes feel alone :((
10. I love what I do ❤️ and who/what I am 🏳️‍🌈❤️☺️

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Falling in love with my Ex once again .333

I can't believe I met my ex once again. Truly, I wasn't very keen to see him again this time after all these years (6) during his travels in Europe and the U.K. from Brazil. But this year was different.
As soon as I knew he was coming I felt a funny feeling inside my gut. Like a good sense of anticipation to a test I have always failed but this time was sure I had an honorable pass in my pocket.

Indeed, our journeys have taken us in very different directions, although many times I felt He got the best of deals. After our ordeals together, he got what he always wanted; the security of a 5 start condominium, a new car, and lots of money to spend, attached to a rich hard working sugar-daddy who lives in Germany and demand very little from him in his enormous generosity. Something so real you can touch and smell. And I have to admit, many times I felt jealousy and envy.

From my perspective, and for many years I battled with my own body and mind, in a quest for balance, health and strength. Making sure my choices felt right inside my gut, my heart and my soul. Within my journey, I've had the opportunity and immense luck to have enjoyed the abundance of this world in a very different way. Financial success came out of homelessness and thanks to state benefits (2012) that allowed me for the first time in my life to not worry about survival. With such luck, my physical and mental health improved to an almost pristine level. My life became austere and simple and with it, I had the time to focus on my healing myself and slowly began to take baby steps out into the wild world, feeling strong, safe and secure. In such journey, I've had only one true desire and that is to achieve something so incredibly difficult that no one would consider to conquer. Not even me. But since I was placed on this path, surely by myself, I had then and now no other reason to live but to achieve natural, highly conscious balance and health. The reason why I keep choosing to stop HIV medication and treatment after only 1.5 years into it, and deal with my health from a holistic, natural point of view.

But I need to make a very strong remark here. – I can't just choose one healing method over another or condemn and judge one as wrong or evil and another as good and righteous, since it's my true belief that ALL ways of healing have a reason, a moment and a purpose. And all should be treated as equally important to sustain and promote healthy lives in this planet.
Technology has advance great length in the last couple of centuries, and it will speed up in the near future, and hopefully, companies and profit will not have so much say in the development of new technology as the real care and compassion for a better, healthier civilisation and world.

So, seeing my Ex this time gave me the opportunity to test what and who I have become. Am I truly satisfied and content with my choices or am I still resentful and jealous for what was taken from away and not given to me?

I could say wonders about my life as it is now, but the whole purpose of this blog, my new name, identity and energy is to express and share my experience, and if you have been paying attention, you know by now how I feel and think.
What I'm doing now/ reaching my highest potential/ stopping the HIV meds and holding my balance naturally, couldn't be conceived within a frustrated mind and out of fear or anger.
Love and life happens in harmony and today I am in love with my life and my body and mind agree with me, creating a perfect bond between us, healing us, and loving us.

And so it is

LoveAlways
x
333

Cristos Andronicos

PS: That day when I met my Ex, he told me something I didn't know. The day I OD with a cocktail of drugs in 2007 after a year and a bit of being infected by him with HIV, during that exact time he experienced a nervous/mind breakdown. He, just like I did had a close to death experience (NDE) and whatever happened that day changed our lives forever. With one tiny difference. Whilst he tried to avoid thinking about that crazy-dangerous and very frightening episode, I couldn't stop thinking, meditating, bathing and breathing about it. My life became obsessed with the idea of higher consciousness, life purpose, spirituality and so on. Without that, I don't think I'd have the peace of mind and body I enjoy today.
And when my Ex expressed his tormented mind, still weak towards possessive thoughts, chem-drugs, and a double life lived between he who he wants to love and he who gives him what he wants to enjoy; then I knew for the first time, I had gotten the best deal. Not the easiest or prettiest but definitely, at this stage, the better deal. In peace and in harmony with all. SatNam 🙏🏽❤️🏆🥇🥈🥉

PS2: That night we ended up in bed dreaming of a life together, which thanks god didn't happen the next day. Lol

PS3: This encounter truly felt like the closing of a cycle. The kind of cycle that involved tragedy, illness and death. With empathic, compassionate eyes we looked at each other and wished for the best.

ADDICTIONS – The Power To Stop!

Addictions, addictions, addictions. I don't think there's anything more paradoxical than addictions. Yet, we know them more for their dark qualities and the much they make us suffer, regardless of their presentation, than for their power to make us stronger. Food, alcohol, sex, love, exercise, drugs, money, work etc.. Don't we just love to hate them and/or we hate to love them?

However, in my personal opinion it is the right balance that allows us to obtain the benefits they provide whist avoiding the damage of becoming too attached to it. So how to achieve balance?
– 12 steps? Nahhh, not for me at leat. Although I recognise the fabulous job they've done on many people with weaker minds or less ability to self-control.

In my experience, there's ONE single thing I'm very good at, and which I consider not only a talent but a superhuman ability and that is the superpower of Not-Do. To simply disconnect the mind, and therefore the emotions created by thought. – What a truly amazing quality and power.
And yes, you may say 'Nahh, that ain't good enough. I rather do something than don't.' And you'd be right… when things are right.

When thoughts and emotions are in balance with Spirit, everything is possible. Our creative potential becomes enlightened and we must use all opportunity to advance, create, expand and promote.
– But when shit stinks and our mind proves us wrong constantly there's very little to do and a lot to become. In this space is where 'Not-Doing' becomes extremely useful.

By stop pretending things are ok; thinking that by just focusing on the bright side things will spark out of numbness and we will somehow begin to live a happy successful, well-directed life, Marked the Beginning of Real Change and Transformation for me. Although in my experience,
Positive thinking has an expire date, Negative thinking has already expired, Neutral thinking however knows not of time nor space. And this is where magic happens, and continues to happen, every time.

I remember, when I couldn't get what I thought I needed to get by., alcohol, food, drugs, attention, acceptance, cigarettes, gym, ir any other of my past addictions, in the highest of their influence over my mind and life, I could always disconnect from their subjugation. Simply by not moving. At least for a fraction of time.

Laying down, my eyes closed, breathing very long, very deep. Just looking at the darkness behind my closed eyelids. Knowing- Accepting there's nothing I could do. Just letting go. Observing the figures or images created over the dark canvas of my mind.
Maybe, this kind of pause in my internal time lasted only short instances, before the caged lion began to destroy everything he could before getting sedated with the substance of the moment. But I knew, that at least for that moment, I could escape my own escape mechanisms if I CHOSE NOT TO SUFFER. The challenge back then, over 10 years ago, was to make those short instances of neutrality last much longer and for my mind to be able to access those states easier and more content, knowing I'd feel good and proud of myself.
THE SECRET TODAY: To be able to live with myself. Stand my own presence, enjoy my own company.

The Art of Nothingness… some call it #Meditation. Few have written about it. Even fewer know what it really means. But all have the potentiality to stop.

AFFIRMATION: I am very proud of the strength of my will power. I can do and not do as I please. My peace and my health are my highest priorities. I love and approve of myself, even when my poor mind choose to fear death, I know my heart trusts the joy of my own immortality. I am my best friend, my greatest lover my must loving father. I am what I am and discovering that is the greatest adventure of this lifetime.

And So It Is….

LoveAlways
Sharing my experience

Cristos Andronicos

Sleeping With The Enemy. 999

Why did I began taking retroviral treatment when I knew I had already healed my body, my mind and my spirit?
– RESPONSIBILITY. That is the key word. But can't deny, that releasing responsibility over my own health and put it in the hands of doctors and the pharma industry also played an important part.

Responsibility and tranquility in relation to others. Imagine having a set of beliefs completely different from the rest of the word. Is not easy at all. Specially when it comes to sex and intimate relationships.
For years I felt tainted, infected, damaged goods, and regardless of how possible I felt to be able to heal myself, still, found difficult to deal with the idea others may have of myself, my health and my honesty.

So why now? What is different now that I have taken again the resolution to stop taking medication and prove to myself and others the real possibility of healing HIV/AIDS in a combination of natural and spiritual healing and medical hardcore medication?
First, I feel to have now a lot more control over my body and mind. My life has been transformed and have very little, almost inexistent levels of darkness, negativity in me. Depresión, anxiety, addictions, insecurity, fear and even doubt has pretty much become "Undetectable" just like HIV in my body. One may say that in the case of HIV is thanks to the medication, and that may be true… to a point.

I believe the idea that everything is Energy, and Energy for me is Consciousness. And if everything is Consciousness, everything is structured as I am, in Consciousness. Sometimes unconscious, subconscious and other times conscious and very real.
In that paradigm, is where I base my theory of self-healing.

After all this years, 46.5 to be exact today. I believed there was something wrong in me, and the desire to not-be was a constant in my life. I wanted to die or not be here for as long as I can remember. Food, alcohol, and later drugs gave me the opportunity to avoid reality. Unfortunately, the highs of all those substances came with a price, a massive low. Getting fat, feeling ugly, feeling sick, depressed, sad, angry with myself and others, frustrated and diminished.
Thanks to HIV, I learn about life and love. First, in an overdose where I reached a point of no return, but from that point I also found the voice of my higher consciousness. And it was clear, strong and non-judgemental. That inner new voice triggered my curiosity about a reality beyond the conscious mind and what we've been told to believe by religion, politics, science, culture, and of course family.
Learning to forget what I thought to be real and beginning to give more importance to what I felt and knew inside to be more real to me, was by all means the result of my decision to heal myself. And with it, also show the possibility to rise above the current set of beliefs worldwide.

Today, I'm not an avatar, holy man, or superman. I am simply like you, average with the same desires and passions to make of this life the best of experiences. Since right now, it is all we have, and therefore all that is important.

The peace, the love, the connection, the expression of what we are right now is the only thing that matters.
I feel love and gratitude inside in my heart like never before. That love and gratitude serves me like a guarantee of health and balance.
Because all I want to do is to share my experience. And in my heart would be extremely cruel to come this far in terms of self-love to realise it's all a fantasy.

I feel my love to be real, my desire to excel myself and to reach new horizons in my mind, my body and my soul.

I believe to be able to integrate fully into this world of consciousness, our 3rd dimension of matter, time and space, not as a unity of hate and darkness for myself but of love and compassion to all.
What I'm saying here is that now that I have healed myself, i can serve as an example to those who also have within themselves the dream of love and of life and of light.

And so it is…

x
333
Cristos Andronicos

STATISTICS & STRATEGIES – Coming Out of Medication .999

July 20, 2017 (Translated by Google)
Post from my blog: www.cristos-andronicos.com

This post should have gone up since July 14, it was last Friday. I was going to make a video of this, but I did not mind. And before I lost more time, I want to let this moment be documented.
I took some measurements in the gym. These were the results:

STATISTICS
Date: 07/14/17
Time: 8:37 am
Age: 46 years old
Sex: Yes, with males¬†ūüôā

Weight: 86.3kg
Height: 1.84mts
BMI: 25.5
Body fat: 18.8% = 16.2kg
STRATEGY:
In the move towards total healing and release of alopatic drugs, AKA retroviral drugs for HIV, I decided to reduce the dose once again in half. So, I’m taking half the pills, every 3rd day. This is going to continue until I receive the green light from my doctor Kenesologa, which I went to see this past Monday, July 16, 17.¬†http://www.willowherbalcentre.co.uk/

WHAT I AM TAKING:
A) I am now using a few herbal sprays that Dr. Susan Koten from the Herbal Willow Center gave me.
1. One for healing the energetic imbalance created by HIV/AIDS
2. another for boosting the adrenal glands,
3. Another spray for a parasite that you found during the consultation called Strongyloides
4. And finally one for the Chakra of the heart, to use in case of feeling one half depre or out of center.

NOTE: I want to make sure that for this type of remedies to work one has to be at the appropriate frequency. I remember there was time when no poweders, herbs, or anything that was naturist would take effect. I needed medicine for horses, retreats for weeks or months, and more than anything, what cured me of AIDS and Cancer were the near death episodes that showed me the love of the Universe.
NOTE2: You don’t have to die to know about this Universal Love. That is why I came back to tell you about it¬†ūüôā

B) Colloidal Silver.
I’m taking 2-4 times a day, 2 ounces with a few drops of concentrated chlorophyll.

C) ASEA – Redox Molecules.
These are signaling molecules at the cellular level. For more information visit my site: http://eduardoblanco.teamasea.com/

D) And finally, I started taking Creatine called “KRE-ALKALYN¬ģ pH-Correct Creatine” to increase muscle and strength in the gym
For the time being I am very determined to continue with my purpose of proving that natural healing is possible and still more, maintaining balance and preventing other diseases.

To be continued…

One month transformation

El Momento de la Verdad

Por supuesto que confronta la simple idea de volver a la batalla, pero siento en lo mas profundo de mi ser que ha llegado el momento de ‘poner la bala donde pongo el ojo’.
En realidad esta es la batalla épica de todos los tiempos. La batalla con uno mismo.

?Que tanto creo en mi fuerza, disciplina y determinación de vivir una vida sana y feliz?
– Haciendo¬†un poco de historia, hace mas de 10 a√Īos (Marzo 2006) que fui diagnosticado VIH positivo. Y por razones de mucho peso, decid√≠ no llevar tratamiento retroviral hasta apenas hace un a√Īo, cuando por primera vez¬†sent√≠ el deseo de dejar de luchar por alcanzar una estabilidad tanto f√≠sica como emocional que no tenia fin, y poner la responsabilidad en la ciencia. As√≠¬†fu√©, el 11 de Marzo del 2016, empec√© a tomar el tratamiento que los medicos tanto prescrib√≠an, y lo lleve¬†a cabo confiando en su eficacia en reducir la carga viral a ‘Indetectable’ y con ello, el nivel de estr√©s y preocupaci√≥n que inherente viv√≠a en mi mente.

Sin embargo, el 20 de Agosto del 2016, decid√≠ reducir la dosis retroviral al 50%. Esto con la intenci√≥n de reducir el nivel t√≥xico de las pastillas. Yo seguro de que el tratamiento en si, no me estaba sanando de ning√ļn virus, pero si ayudando a aliviar la inseguridad interna.¬†El 22 de Febrero 2017, at 14:19, mi doctora escribi√≥: Dear Eduardo, Your CD4 cell count is 341 (12%) and your viral load is undetectable (<50). Por supuesto que ella no ten√≠a conocimiento alguno de mi decisi√≥n de reducir la dosis a la mitad. Lo MUY interesante es el echo de que a pesar de que la dosis ha sido reducida a la mitad, en un tratamiento donde es predicado el peligro de alterar la continuidad, horario, y la cantidad, el resultado no ha desmejorado.

Tengo mi próxima cita en la clínica de VIH el proximo 21 de Agosto 2017. Y he venido sintiendo que ha llegado la hora de detener el tratamiento por completo. Por que?
– Porque en realidad tengo un deseo enorme de probarme a mi mismo que puedo ser due√Īo absoluto de mi cuerpo y mi mente. Ademas de probar que el trabajo mental y espiritual que he llevado estos a√Īos es real, y ahora tengo la capacidad de mantener el equilibrio en un estado optimo de salud.
Esto que significa:

1. Que una vez mas tendré la responsabilidad absoluta de mi salud en mis manos.
2. Que tendré que dejar de tener sexo aun con protección.
3. Que tendr√© que ser a√ļn mas consciente de mis pensamientos, sentimientos, emociones, palabras y acciones.
4. Que tendré la responsabilidad de documentar y compartir mi experiencia a cada paso del proceso.
5. Que tendré que aceptar la posibilidad de que mucha gente no este de acuerdo conmigo y mis decisiones.
6. Que posiblemente pierda los beneficios que actualmente recibo.
7. Que tendré que convertirme en alguien de integridad y fortaleza absoluta, mental, física y espiritual.
8. Que tendré que asumir con responsabilidad los riesgos y peligros.
9. Confiar que no estoy solo, que tengo un ejercito de almas que me apoyan y cuidan.
10. Que el amor todo lo puede.
11. Que tengo todo lo que necesito para salir adelante.
12. Que si se puede.

De momento todavía estoy en duda de cuando detener el tratamiento. Si ahora es el momento adecuado, o después de mi cita con el doctor.
En estos momentos, puedo apoyar mi decisión de detener el tratamiento con Plata Coloidal. Este producto anti-viral, anti-bacterial, y anti-hongos.

Si decido detener el tratamiento hoy, empezaré a tomar 3 dosis de 2 onzas de Plata Coloidal por el mes y dias que faltan para mi cita con el doctor. Y ver asi, que efectos empieza a haber.
Mi teoría es: Teniendo una carga viral indetectable, y con un bombardeo constante con balas de plata, es posible matar por completo la idea del VIH que vive en mi, antes de que pueda empezar a reproducirse al detener por completo el tratamiento retroviral.

Esperaré unas horas. Haré meditación y cuando llegue la hora decidiré.
#Graciasporsupreferencia

Cristos Andronicos

sun-cross-and-runes

First Entry – My Leg Routine

 This is my first entry into my new identity. I believe in rebirth beyond the idea of physical death. For me, to have the ability to transform yourself means to be able to constantly challenge and question yourself. How close am I to the greatest idea of myself? What can I do right now to take one step farther? What is it in me that is not longer beneficial? How can I let it go? What do I need to let in? How true am I to myself, to others, to god?
This is the first step into a 1000 mile journey. And I’m extremily happy and hounoured to be able to share it with you in all openness, truthfulness, clarity, peace congruence and integrity.
Thank you,
Cristos Androinicos

Cristos-Andronicos Official Website